Program
by Haiku Kitten
Summary: Light has a plan to "reprogram" his enemy. L may be a genius but the human mind is a fragile thing. AU, takes place sometime after Light regains his memories and goes off in a different direction entirely. Rated for graphic rape and violence. HIATUS
1. Hijack

**Program**

Author: Haiku

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing(s): Light/L

Rating: M for sexual content, violence, graphic rape, and other disturbing scenes.

Chapter 1/?

**Summary: **Light has a plan to "reprogram" his enemy. L may be a genius but the human mind is a fragile thing. AU, takes place sometime after Light regains his memories and goes off in a different direction entirely.

**Disclaimer: **This author owns nothing. Actually, she's pretty poor, so that's not far from deserving of literal translation.

**Author's Note**: I'm not really sure how much I'll write of this fic but I'm curious to see what sort of response it gets. If I get a lot of positive response to it, I'll probably continue it. =) It's mostly just a bit of an experiment. It's totally in present tense but there may be typos where I slipped into past tense, since that's the tense I usually write in. This fic is more practice than anything, so if you see any errors like that, please point them out.

**Program**

**Chapter 1: Hijack**

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now_

_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now_

_But God, does it feel so good_

_Cause I got him where I want him now_

_And if you could then you know you would_

_God, it just feels so_

_It just feels so good_

_**-Paramore, Misery Business**_

He shouldn't have agreed, he knows that now, because he knew at the time that Light was Kira. Maybe it was because he'd spent his first night away from Light fighting with insomnia. He knew that the person he was dealing with now was not that passionate, pure young man that he'd grown attached to over the last few months. But Kira had Yagami Light's face and Yagami Light's voice and he'd asked L to come with him out to get lunch. L feels so stupid looking back on it because he went with Light like there was nothing to fear.

He wakes up bound hand and foot in complete darkness. And he knows right now that he should have expected something like this but he never assumed that Light would kidnap him, of all things. He doesn't know what Light's plan is or where he has been taken to but he's certain that it isn't good.

--

In the darkness, he lies awake for hours. His pitch black prison feels like it is moving and he can hear the sound of an engine running. He deducts that he must be in the trunk of a car. So Light is taking him somewhere. But then, it might not be Light driving the car. It could very well be someone else, someone working for Light. Amane Misa? Well, it's a possibility but L doesn't feel it's very likely. Still, he can't rule out the possibility. He has to examine this situation from every angle.

If it is Misa driving the car then it is very likely that he will die within in the next forty-eight hours. L has observed that Misa is a very selfish individual. In all probability, she has experienced loss in her life and now she is very concerned with keeping a tight hold on the people she loves. Were L among those people, he would indeed have a strong ally. However, the only person who Misa is currently attached to is Light. Any transgressions against Light are punishable by death in Misa's mind. L also has a feeling that Misa is bitter about the amount of time Light tends to spend with him over her. It is quite possible that if he angers Misa in any way, he will end up dead.

On the other hand, Light is a no less terrifying possibility and also the most likely. It must have been Light who drugged him, so it is likely that he is the one taking him somewhere. The chance of death goes down in that case because Light would need to have a good reason for kidnapping him and would likely keep him alive. The chances of bodily harm go up, however, because it is likely that Light wants something from him and L is not likely to give in without being forced to.

Either way he looks at it, this situation is bad. He is completely detained. His hands are secured with handcuffs, as are his feet. A strip of tape, most likely duct tape, covers his mouth. The most he can do to alert someone to his plight is bang on something with his feet and hope that he is heard. There is no chance of that working while the car is moving, so he'll have to wait until whoever is driving stops the car for gas or something.

Eventually, he feels sleep overcoming him. The remnants of whatever drug Light used on him must still be in his system. Unable to fight it, he allows himself to drift off.

--

He wakes up again to the sound of the trunk of the car being opened. He slowly opens his eyes and blinks the sleep from them as he looks up. Light looks back at him with a surprisingly blank expression. There's no smirk, no angry scowl. L stares back at him in surprise. Then Light looks upwards and from side to side, as though he is making absolute certain that there is nobody watching. He draws a key from his pocket and unlocks the cuffs around L's ankles.

"Don't make a scene," the young man whispers softly as he grips L by the arm and pulls him from the trunk. L struggles to support himself without his hands as he is forced to climb out. Once he is out he stumbles but Light holds him up. L looks up at him questioningly but Light says nothing. The boy steers L around and L notices that they're parked at a motel. Light heads to the door in front of the car and L is forced to follow him by the firm hold Light still has on his arm.

Light releases his arm long enough to pull out the key card for the door from his pocket. He slides it through and the door opens with small 'click.' "Inside," he says sternly and L has no choice but to do as he says. He steps into the motel room. Light follows him in and shuts the door behind them.

"I'm not going to tell you very much," Light warns, pushing L down into a chair. He cuffs L's feet again, perhaps to prevent the detective from trying to escape. "Are you frightened?"

L stares at him dully in response. Honestly, he doesn't feel any fear. He is too familiar with Light, too comfortable around him. Yes, this is a dangerous situation and he's been carefully considering the risks but he isn't scared.

The boy moves away, shaking his head. "You know, Ryuzaki, I don't have much of a plan right now." He sits down on the bed and watches L with piercing eyes. "Originally… I was going to kill you. I thought on it for a couple days." He smiles one of his innocent school boy smiles. "I guess you could say that you've earned the right to live in Kira's new world. Even though you stood in Kira's way, your intelligence is far too valuable to waste."

He doesn't once refer to himself as Kira, L notes. Does this mean he is simply protecting himself for the future; preventing L from using anything as an admission? Or does it mean that there really is someone behind Light; the ultimate Kira, so to speak?

"I have a deal for you, Ryuzaki," Light murmurs and L shakes his head immediately, mostly to piss Light off. Light narrows his eyes. "Let me rephrase that. I will give you two options. The first, and most favorable, is that we can both return to headquarters and you will declare the Kira case officially closed, since Higuchi has been captured. You will send Watari on his way and you will remain here in Japan for the time being until it is necessary for all of us to move elsewhere."

If the duct tape wasn't preventing him from it, L would laugh outright. There is no way he is going to go along with that and surely Light knows that. He shakes his head again vigorously.

"The second option, Ryuzaki, is that you and I will remain here however long it takes to convince you to go along with the first option, during which time I will punish you as I see fit." Light fixes L with a horrid, vicious stare. "I could simply kill you and be done with it but obviously you are a favorable asset to me. So choose, L; the easy way or the hard way?"

L pulls at his bonds in irritation and looks away from Light insolently. He won't submit to this. He won't let Light succeed in terrorizing him. He won't abandon his beliefs and life's work just because a selfish boy wants him to.

There is silence in the room for a moment. Presently, Light reaches out and tears the duct tape away from L's mouth in one sharp movement. L gasps sharply, despite himself. It is painful to have tape ripped from one's skin and really, L doesn't like pain very much. He likes to be comfortable and safe.

"Tell me, L, what's it going to be," Light speaks softly.

"I won't… I won't do anything for you," L rasps out. "Do whatever you will to me but I am justice and I will not bow to your whims, Light-kun."

He feels in his gut that he's made a grave error after he lets those words pass his lips. For a split second, Light looks angry. The anger melts into a smirk. "Very well," the boy whispers. "I thought you would say something like that. I made arrangements." He glances down at his watch and his smirk grows more sinister. L starts to feel uneasy. "Right on schedule," Light murmurs.

Someone knocks loudly on the door to the room.

Light moves away from L and goes to the door. L's eyes follow him suspiciously. Calmly, Light opens the door, pulling it wide, and steps aside.

Three men instantly step inside the room. They're rough in appearance, scruffy hooligans from the wrong side of the tracks. For being Japanese, they're very tall and broad shouldered. But what strikes L the most about them is their eyes, blank and vacant, as though no thought is being processed behind them. L gets the disturbing impression that they are not in control of their actions.

"Who are they?" he asks, starting to get worried. Instead of answering, Light just smiles and closes the door.

That's when things really start to scare L. He's never been in a situation like this before but he tries to think logically. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any way to escape, with his hands and feet restrained by the metal cuffs. The men approach him and one takes hold of his arm, pulling him up from the chair. The man grins hideously at him.

"Hey cutie, wanna' have a little fun?" he speaks, his face far too close to L's own for comfort. His breath stinks. The detective stumbles slightly as he tries to pull away from the man but he's held fast. "Aw, don't wanna' play?" the man continues. He glances at his companions. "I have first dibs."

L suddenly finds himself pushed face down on the hotel bed. "Hold on!" he tries to object, eyes growing wide. He realizes what is happening as the man's hands tug at his jeans. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, that will reason with them but he has no idea what to say.

His eyes search the room for anything that will help him get out of this and they land on Light. "Light-kun, you don't want to do this," he says, trying to appeal to the boy's conscience. Light is no longer smirking but he stares blankly back and makes no move to help L. "Light!" L exclaims, staring into the boy's eyes. "This won't make me do what you want!"

Light turns his back on L.

The men paw at L like animals, touching, groping. L's breathing speeds up and he can hear his own harsh gasping echo in the room. He doesn't like to be touched unless it's on his terms and this is making him panic. Pressed down against the mattress, he can't think straight. He stares helplessly at Light's back. The Light he knew wouldn't have turned away. But then, the Light he knew would never have allowed this in the first place.

His jeans and underwear are dragged down his slim frame, baring his skin to the cold air and the prying eyes of his attackers. "Stop," he says; his voice thick with fear. He keeps his gaze locked desperately on Light, willing the boy to turn back around and call the men off. "Light, don't let them do this!"

But Light doesn't move and L hears the slide of a zipper. He clenches his eyes shut, as though that will somehow block out what is about to happen.

And yet, nothing L could have done would have blocked out that terrible, horrible pain of being ripped open. He can't help it; he screams. The sound is muffled by his pillow when one of the men pushes his face more firmly against it. If he could form the words, he would cry out for them to stop but he can't think of how to speak. For once, he is speechless. And his world is full of pain.

"So good," the man grunts, moving relentlessly in and out of L's body. In and out... it's so wrong. L feels like his body is being desecrated, destroyed from the inside. Large, calloused hands stroke his thighs roughly. L feels the need to vomit. He's scared to death and he can't get his emotions under control. This man is _raping_ him. The thought makes him want to curl up in some dark place and hide there forever.

"Please," he finally manages to get out. But then he can't think of what to say or who to say it to. The man raping him? The men waiting for their turn? Or Light, standing with his back turned to them?

The man speeds up and for a few moments the pain is doubled but then his thrusts are somehow lubricated and L doesn't want to think about why but he's too attentive by nature to ignore what he knows. He's bleeding now, he knows that, he can't escape that. What if this man has AIDS? Or any STD, for that matter. But that's something to worry about if he actually makes it through this experience alive.

He's certain that there should be some pleasure for him involved in this act, under normal circumstances. He's researched it, he knows where his prostate is and that if this was a consensual coupling, his partner would need to find it, aim for it. This man doesn't care and L suffers instead. And just when he thinks he can't feel any more disgusting than he does right now, his rapist's thrusts falter. As he feels the man's hot semen shoot into him, L gives in to animal instinct and begins to cry softly against the pillow.

His attacker pulls away and for a moment he's relieved, though still in tears. But then there are hands on him, pulling him up from the bed and forcing him onto his knees. He looks up to see the other two men looming above him. One laughs and roughly grips his chin, tilting his face up. "Aw, the little baby's crying," he jeers. "Was he too rough for ya, pretty boy? Go too fast?"

Light suddenly turns around and looks at L and L tries to lock eyes with him for a moment but the look on Light's face is so hard and unforgiving that L can't help but look away. He never would have before but he's so overwhelmed right now and he doesn't want to know what Light could be thinking, looking at him. He knows he's a mess, tears running down his face and his pants bunched around his restrained ankles.

His quiet crying grows into soft sobbing when he hears another zipper slide down. "Don't," he whispers, not even sure what his attackers are planning now but certain that he doesn't want anymore. He clenches his eyes shut and tries to pull out of the one's grip but the man's fingers tighten painfully on his chin.

"Open wide," his next assailant instructs, laughing as he speaks. L opens his eyes in surprise to find himself level with the man's erection. It hits him all of a sudden what the man wants him to do. Rapidly, he shakes his head.

"No," he says, his voice gaining a little strength now. He absolutely will not have another person's... His mind sputters and stalls for a moment before the whole thought finally registers. Another person's _penis_, he finally tells himself. The word shouldn't sound so vulgar to him, it's the appropriate term. Maybe if he thinks about this from that point of view. This is just a natural thing, humans are sexual beings by nature. If he pretends he's willing, that this isn't what it is...

Apparently he's waited too long because suddenly the man's hands are in his hair, holding him in place with a painful grip as he pushes himself into L's mouth. L coughs and gags at the intrusion and tries to struggle free, but to no avail. Hot, hard flesh fills his mouth and he feels like puking because that should _not_ be in his mouth, it's not hygienic and it's disgusting and why won't Light put a stop to this?

He can't escape and he knows it and after a few moments of struggling, he sags and just gives up, self preservation in mind at this point more than anything. The man thrusts into his mouth, barely giving him time to breathe, and L is hurting so much that he isn't even sure which parts of him are hurting. Blood and semen have made a sticky mess of his thighs by now as he tries to keep his balance and his head is pounding with pain. It's around that point that he starts to separate himself from what is happening. His mind begins to drift, not really thinking about any one thing in particular. Math equations and lines from classic literature spin around in his head and he doesn't even have to acknowledge the world outside. For a few blessed minutes, he is safe.

But then he can't breath, something is filling up his mouth and the taste is so bitter and strange. He chokes on it as it drags him back into the real world and it spills down his chin.

The man pulls away, spent, and flops down into a chair without bothering to zip his jeans back up. "Not half bad," he says when he has caught his breath and L shudders. The detective looks down at his knees and tries not to think at all, to let his mind go blank, but the horrible understanding of what just happened refuses to be ignored.

Far gentler hands touch him then and pull him back up off the ground. "Light," he whispers forlornly but he already knows by the shape of the hands that it's the third man, not Light, who is touching him now. He knows that and yet he still takes some sick comfort in the fact that this man is not so harsh, not so cruel. And he hates himself for it but he hopes that this one is kinder when the inevitable third rape occurs. The gentle hands tilt his face upwards and he sees the third man's face slowly close in on his own before there are lips on his and L feels like he'll be swallowed up by them. They're not rough but the man hasn't given him the option of pulling away and that is as suffocating as being held down to L.

A tongue worms its way inside L's mouth as the man's hands begin to caress him, sliding up his thighs and over his buttocks before making their way under his shirt. The kiss is broken and the man's lips trail down L's jaw to his neck, where they pause and begin to suck and nibble. L makes a choked noise of disgust, as much because the feelings are pleasurable as because he can't get away.

He wonders if it's really worth this. It would have been easier to agree to Light's demands; allow him to continue killing criminals. His body aches and he wants the pain to go away so badly. Never in his life has he felt so helpless before. Never before has he ever felt like death would be better. But as his final attacker guides him to bend over the bed, he wishes he'd died as an orphan on the streets of Winchester, England.

It doesn't matter that this one goes slower as he enters L, or that the intrusion is lubricated with blood and semen, it's just as terrible to L as the first time. His fingers dig into the blanket and his breath comes in sharp gasp. "Hurts," he chokes out, not really expecting any pity from the man but he still feels the need to try. When he gets no response, just the same rhythmic pain, in and out, it feels like there's a part of him that simply breaks. He feels hollow, somehow, and it's almost a nice feeling because it means there's no shame, no fear, no anger.

He doesn't move when the last man finally pulls away; he remains prone on the bed, hoping that none of them want a second round. To his great relief, he hears footsteps move towards the door and then the sound of the door opening and closing. Still he does not move. And when a set of lighter footsteps starts in his direction, he tries to regulate his breathing.

"Look at me," Light says sternly and L does as instructed. The anger comes back to him when he sees Light's blank expression. "Do you understand now?" the brunet asks like he's speaking to a child who has been punished for disobeying. "You don't have a choice, L. Eventually, you will agree to my demands. I'm sorry it had to be like this but I did warn you."

L doesn't have the energy to do anything more than shake his head wearily. He stares at Light numbly, at a loss for what to do and not entirely certain that he cares what happens to him next.

Then Light does something surprising. He reaches out and pets L's hair lightly, comfortingly. "We'll need to change hotels soon," he says softly and as he speaks, he takes out a key and unlocks the cuffs around L's wrists.

"You're not letting me go?" L mumbles; his face falls. "I thought..."

"I said that I would let you go back when you had agreed to my demands," Light replies smoothly. "You have not done so yet and I don't anticipate that you will any time in the near future." He moves to unlock the cuffs on L's ankles. "This is merely the first step."

TBC


	2. Infect

**Program**

Author: Haiku

Fandom: Death Note

Pairing: Light/L

Rating: M for sexual content, violence, graphic rape, and other disturbing scenes.

Chapter 2/?

**Summary: **Light has a plan to "reprogram" his enemy. L may be a genius but the human mind is a fragile thing. AU, takes place sometime after Light regains his memories and goes off in a different direction entirely.

**Program**

**Chapter 2: Infect**

_My dying prayer, sealed in a scream_

_Unwelcome, and a conscious dream_

_I am your whore, without a name_

_I climb to fall, to begin again, to begin again_

_I climb to fall, suffer, hatred, deceit and pain_

_Anger, regret, loving in vain_

_I feel so useless_

_**- Useless, Imogen Heap**_

The sound of water running is merely noise in the back of L's mind as he stands on the cold bathroom tiles, staring at everything and nothing at all. He feels and he hears but none of it connects to make any semblance of sense. It's like there's something broken in his mind and as soon as he thinks that, he begins to obsess over it. Is he broken now? Spoiled, ruined... dirty?

Light's hands are suddenly on the hem of his shirt, dragging it up and over his head. His jeans are still in the main room, he remembers, bunched up and stained with fluids he'd rather not think about. He watches as Light takes the shirt and carefully folds it up and sets it aside. His hands are contaminating the evidence. The clothes need to be bagged. L should be calling the police or at least making his way to the emergency room. Light knows that, surely he does. Light is very smart, maybe even smarter than L himself. There's no one who fascinates L more than Light. Watari seems to think it's an unhealthy fascination and L thinks that he probably agrees but who even cares...

"Ryuzaki, pay attention," Light speaks firmly. At the sound of Light's voice, L quickly looks up. "What are you feeling right now?" the boy questions. He catches L's gaze and holds it with intense hazel eyes, brilliance shining through them at L and the detective has always fairly basked in the glow of them when he finds their focus on him and no one else. "Do you feel numb, afraid, what?"

"...Numb," L says after a moment and he knows he should be paying more attention to what Light is saying but he just _can't_. It's disconcerting because one of his finest qualities has always been his ability to focus intently. It's what makes him such a good detective because brains aren't all it takes. You have to have the abilityto see what others overlook.

Light stares into his eyes, his gaze demanding of honesty, compliance. If there's one thing that L can't stand, it's authority. He has never answered to anyone, not really. The few rules he complies to are woven into his obsession with the justice system and even those are meant to be broken at his whim. So what makes this boy, however brilliant and beautiful he might be, think that L will obey him?

"It's your fault," he says finally with as much fire in his tone as he can muster at this point. He's still not afraid of Light and he really doesn't care to figure out why, exactly, that is. "It doesn't matter how I'm feeling, it doesn't matter that I can't concentrate on anything, it's _your fault_." His breath hitches. He's getting all choked up just from standing up to Light but it hurts to think about what happened and he wants to forget about it; ignore it.

Perhaps Light feels guilty because his gaze softens and he reaches for L, pulling the detective to him in a loose hold. L doesn't fight back, even though the contact makes his skin crawl. It could be worse, he tells himself as he lets his body relax and lays his head against Light's shoulder. Light just holds him for a few moments, comfortingly, and then he begins to gently direct L towards the shower.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Light murmurs and L is so desperate for kindness by now that his brain actually registers that as good will on Light's part. It isn't until Light has him in the tub, under the shower's warm spray, that he recognizes what is going on. He balks, tensing up in Light's arms, and scrambles to get back out but Light's hold is suddenly harsh, keeping him trapped.

"No!" L exclaims, eyes growing wild as he claws at Light's arms. "You can't! The evidence, it-"

"There won't be any evidence," Light objects calmly, though his face looks strained. It is obviously taking all of his strength to keep L in place but just a little longer and L knows the traces left on his body will be washed down the drain. "There won't be a case, L. There won't be a trial, your attackers won't go to jail."

It takes a lot of willpower for L to keep from cursing at the boy. "You hypocrite," he snarls back, blinking water out of his eyes. "What happened to upholding justice, Light?! How could you do this with a clean conscience?!"

Nothing adds up. Maybe his view of Light had been a little too shiny and perfect, due to personal bias, but he knew Light. Spending months chained to a person didn't exactly leave a lot of room for secrets. Light had carried him to bed when he fell asleep at his computer. Light had stayed cheerful, doing everything he could to lift L's spirits when L was losing confidence. Light had said that they were friends.

Finally, L realizes that fighting is pointless – the evidence is all gone now. He sags in Light's hold, gasping for air as the fight leaves him. Light reaches past him for the bottle of motel shampoo and pops the cap open.

"Shh," Light murmurs soothingly and L looks up at him in confusion when the brunet drizzles the shampoo onto his hair. Light's face is carefully blank, devoid of emotion; a skill they both possess, so it's easy for L to tell that Light is hiding. Hiding what? "You're upset right now," Light continues. "But don't worry – Kira has already brought them to justice."

"What do you mean?" L questions but Light's fingers are massaging his scalp now with expert skill, carefully washing away the sweat and grime. He's finding it hard to concentrate again. "Did you... did you kill them?" he mumbles quietly, so quiet that the shower nearly drowns him out but he knows that Light hears him.

"Kira judged them," Light insists. He isn't going to be moved; he isn't going to admit to anything. Not that L is in a position to do anything with that information anyway.

Eventually, Light shuts off the shower and L is pliant as the brunet pulls him up and out of the bathtub. Light wraps a warm towel around him and murmurs soft reassurances to him while L shivers miserably.

"Sit down," Light instructs and he guides L to sit down on the lid of the toilet. Taking out another towel, he begins to dry L's hair. L stares blankly down at his feet.

"Why are you doing this?" L asks finally. Light pauses in drying L's hair but for several long moments he is quiet and doesn't respond.

"I want you to understand," he replies finally. "The world is rotten, L. The men who assaulted you earlier are rapists with a long track record. They have managed to avoid being brought to justice by the law and have been allowed to live freely among the innocent, hurting people as they please. What happened to you has happened to countless others while the police stand by and do nothing. But now... Now that Kira has found them, they will not hurt anyone else. Do you understand?"

L does understand and it terrifies him. He feels vomit rising in his throat but he forces it back. "It... It is not Kira's place," he replies, his mouth dry. Because he is so very glad that they are dead and he wishes he wasn't but knowing that they will never harm someone like that again is comforting.

Then Light's arms are around him again, offering warmth and familiarity and safety. "Isn't it liberating to know that they're gone?" he asks. "Now you don't have to live in fear. This is why Kira has so many followers. They were victims once and Kira took away their anger, their fear. They are free to live in happiness now."

L trembles in the murderer's hold. It is not so simple, he thinks. He can't deny that he is relieved that his attackers are gone but... it doesn't truly make him feel safe. If anything, it makes him feel mortal. Those three men who held such power over him, who could hurt him in such a way, were easily dealt with by Kira. How far down the food chain does that leave L?

If he gets out of this, he will never venture out in public again. He will stay hidden away with only Watari to keep him company. But he thinks that now there is no way he can go back to that life. He is far too entangled in the web Light has woven.

Light pulls away and opens the cabinet above the sink. He takes out a container of hair gel. "We have to disguise ourselves," he says simply as he opens it up and dips his fingers into it. His captive does not object as Light runs his gelled fingers through damp black hair, slicking it back to L's head.

"Where are we going?" L asks when Light begins applying coverup makeup to the dark circles under his eyes.

"It's a secret," Light replies and he stands back to observe his handiwork. He smiles in satisfaction. "It's a good look for you," he remarks. "Wait a moment, I'll be back." He slips out of the bathroom and returns a few minutes later with a back of clothes. "Put these on," he instructs, taking the clothes from the bag and handing them to L. He gathers up L's soiled clothing and puts it into the bag.

Slowly, L steps into the boxers and bluejeans that Light has provided for him. He slips on the green tank top that accompanies them and then the red and white hoodie. Light reaches out and pulls the hood up over his head, partially concealing L's face.

"Put on the shoes now," Light says and L eyes the blue sneakers with distaste. They're obviously new and they'll be stiff and confining. L hates shoes but he hates new shoes the most. "L, put on the shoes," Light repeats in a firmer tone and for some reason, L reluctantly obeys him.

He stands up, grimacing at the pain the movement causes, and looks at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He looks... normal, for lack of a better word. With the shadows under his eyes covered up, he looks much younger than he actually is. The clothes help this illusion since they very much look like something a teenager would wear. Even his slouch doesn't seem odd in this getup.

"I look like a punk," he mutters and glances at Light out of the corner of his eye. Light is undressing now, starting by unzipping his pants, and L can't help feeling a little panicked before he reminds himself that Light would not attack him. At least, not after going through all that trouble to erase the evidence.

"We'll match in a minute," Light replies as he switches to a similar outfit, complete with a dark blue hoodie that he pulls up over his own head. They look nothing like the people they left the coffee shop as. If the task force tries to find them, this is going to make it much harder. This is Light's intention, he is sure.

Still, there's something that doesn't quite fit. "There's bound to be evidence on the carpet and the bedspread," he states. Surely Light took that into account and how does he plan to deal with it? There should be traces of semen and blood all over the bed. If anyone were to follow their trail this far, they would know what had happened.

"I removed the bedspread and replaced it," Light replies easily. "The motel won't notice because I switched the bedspreads originally in the first place. The one with evidence is one I purchased when I bought these clothes. The one on the bed now is the one that belongs to the motel. I'll dispose of the soiled one later. As for the carpet – we got lucky, what little did get on it was easy to clean up."

There's no chance of escaping this, L thinks, and he feels frustrated all over again. He wants out, he wants to go home and curl up with a piece of cake somewhere in the dark. He needs familiarity, comfortable safety, but Light won't let him go.

He doesn't fight this time when Light cuffs his hands. "Be good and I'll let you ride in the front seat," he says and L, to his own dismay, finds himself considering this. It's ridiculous and he shakes himself out of it, dead set on running at the first given opportunity. He'll play along, make Light think he'll do as he's been asked but when he gets the chance, he won't stay.

"Have some water – you haven't had anything to drink since the cafe." Light pushes a paper cup into his hands and L drinks it without thinking. The water feels cool on his sore throat. It washes down what remained of the bitter semen taste. He turns up the cup and downs it all vigorously.

A wave of dizziness washes over him and the cup slips from his fingers to the floor. L stumbles and he's forced to sit back down on the toilet to keep from falling. _Drugged, _he thinks faintly and his mouth opens to accuse Light but the words don't come out. He tries to stand again but his body doesn't respond – it's as if he's paralyzed, only he's not really immobile. He just can't control his own limbs.

"K-Ketamine?" he manages to ask as the bathroom blurs around him. It's a date rape drug, the fastest of the three most common. Rohypnol takes at least thirty minutes, GHB takes around fifteen, but Ketamine has an almost immediate effect. Fear grips L then because when he thinks about Ketamine, he thinks about the innumerable rape cases he has dealt with. He thinks about women and men alike, abused against their will and unable to fight back at all as their attackers do as they please.

Light reaches for him and L uses every ounce of willpower he has to jerk away. "No!" he exclaims and his voice sounds muffled, as though he has cotton in his ears or something. Light speaks but L can't really make out what he's saying. The brunet's hands touch his hair and begin to pet gently while Light continues to murmur something that L can't hear but surprisingly it relaxes him – a little bit. Light pulls him up to his feet then and L sways, finding it difficult to balance. He wants to grab hold of Light for support but his fingers won't grip. "Falling," he gasps and Light quickly wraps his arms around him, holding him up.

With a great amount of difficulty, Light helps him out to the car and sets him down in the passenger's side seat. L can only sag limply against the car door when his captor disappears back into the motel. He gasps softly for air as he waits for Light to return and fights off panic. Panic won't do him any good but it's so hard to stay calm when he's helpless to do anything.

The boy returns with several plastic bags, which he carefully stashes under the backseat of the car. L thinks he should probably know what they are but he's not sure. He feels so dizzy...

He dimly hears the sound of the car starting but then it just feels like he's floating, entirely incorporeal. It's almost as though he is above his body, looking down on it, like he can see himself slumped over in the seat with his handcuffed wrists hidden in his lap.

What seemed like mere moments must have been hours because when L finally begins to return to himself, they're pulling in at another motel and Light's voice is clearer. "Shh, Ryuzaki," he murmurs as he gently guides L out of the car and into their room. "You're okay, I'm not going to let you fall." L holds to him tight this time, grateful that his fingers are actually working again. "It's okay," Light continues to coo. "I've got you, you're safe."

Light lowers him down onto the bed and L is still too disoriented to feel fear over the familiar position. The boy lays down beside him, fingers once again in L's gelled hair, gently stroking. "It'll wear off soon," he says gently. "Sleep it off, okay? I'm here."

His words set L's mind at ease.

~TBC


End file.
